Lick'em Tongue Cat Brush

You hold this brush in your teeth. The Lick’em is a red mouthpiece with a big plastic tongue sticking out the front, and the tongue is covered in small pegs, so you can groom your cat by, more or less, licking it. Since it sits in your mouth, both hands stay free to hold and pet the cat while you work.

It’s made of food-grade plastic, which matters for anything that goes in your mouth, and it arrives in a gift-ready box roughly 4.5 by 4 by 5 inches. Fairly Odd Novelties sells it as a gag gift, and that’s the right way to think about it. The best moment comes when someone unwraps it at a white elephant swap and has to figure out what it’s for, and the second best is when a cat owner decides to try it anyway.

It suits the friend who already talks to their cat in a special voice and won’t mind a photo of themselves mid-groom. It’s also a cheap, very specific laugh for an office gift exchange where half the room has cats.

The catch: it’s a novelty first and a grooming tool second. The pegs are plastic rather than soft bristles, so it won’t replace a real brush during shedding season, and you’ll want to rinse it after every use.