Kempf Go Away Doormat

The Kempf Go Away Doormat gets straight to the point before anyone reaches the doorbell. It is a 16-by-27-inch mat made from natural coconut fibers, with “Go Away” printed into the coir. The appeal is the mismatch: a traditional entrance mat doing the exact opposite of welcoming someone in. It suits the friend whose affection comes with a little sarcasm, or an entryway where a cheerful greeting feels wildly off-brand.

The design is imprinted deep into the fibers, rather than leaving the joke entirely at the surface. There is no rubber backing, though, so this is not the one to choose if that is on your doormat checklist. As a gift, it works best when you already know the recipient shares the joke. For someone who loves hosting and means every word of “come on in,” this sends a rather different message.