White Elephant Gifts Worth Stealing: Funny, Clever and Useful Picks

The Comfy Original Wearable Blanket started as a men’s 5XL hoodie that its inventors made even bigger, then lined with thick sherpa and gave a hood and one giant pocket. There’s enough room to pull your legs inside and still have your hands free for snacks. It’s hard to unwrap one without trying it on, but it costs more than most caps allow, so save it for a swap with a higher limit.

Roughly five pounds of blue raspberry candy in the shape of a single bear, the 5 Pound Giant Gummy Bear stands 9.5 inches tall and holds 51 servings. It’s gluten-free and made in the USA. Whoever steals it should plan on sharing with the rest of the room.

Lift the lid on the Rainbow Socks Pizza Box Socks (4 Pairs) and it looks like a takeout pie until someone picks up a slice and finds a sock. Four pairs of cotton-blend crew socks come in pizza patterns such as Hawaiian and pepperoni. Nearly everyone wears socks, and the 9.5 to 13 size range is the safe bet when you don’t know who will open it.

Desktop Therapist Gregory is a 3.5-inch therapist with exactly 16 randomized phrases to offer when the workday gets to be too much, and the batteries come included. He suits the coworker who narrates every small crisis out loud. Just don’t expect new material after the first week.

Four small round faces, shocked, angry, relaxed and speechless, make up the ROKAKU Light-Up Desktop Punching Bags (Set of 4), and each one lights up when you smack it. Suction bases hold them down on smooth desks. The winner can keep one and hand the other three to teammates.

For something sweeter, the Crochet Emotional Support Pickle is a handmade 5.5-inch pickle holding a little card with a pun like “You can DILL with anything.” A small Etsy shop in Ohio makes each one, so order early. It suits a new hire, a friend having a rough month or anyone who loves pickles.

Flip the switch on The Useless Machine 2.0 and a wooden finger pops out of the box and switches it right back off. The poplar plywood pieces lock together with no glue or screws, and you can get it as a solder kit, a no-solder kit or fully assembled. Pick up two AAA batteries, because they aren’t included.

The YAQUMW Mini Counterweight Trebuchet Kit builds into a working siege engine 38 centimeters long that really fires, with a deliberately gentle sling for desk use. It comes with tools, a manual and a video tutorial, though you supply the glue. This is the splurge of the list, so bring it to a swap with a generous cap and a few history buffs.

Rest the OTOTO Nessie Ladle in a pot and the Loch Ness monster rises out of the soup. It’s a heat-resistant, dishwasher-safe plastic ladle that stands up on its own between servings. Give it to whoever hosts soup night.

Nobody needs the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, which is exactly why it works in a swap. The yellow plastic tool cuts a whole peeled banana into even slices in one press, and it goes in the dishwasher. It’s one of the cheapest picks here and gets a laugh just for existing.

A silicone manatee that hooks its flippers over the mug rim while it steeps, the Fred Manatea Tea Infuser holds loose leaf tea in its belly. It handles heat up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit and goes in the dishwasher. Tuck a small tin of loose tea in with it, since it doesn’t work with tea bags.

The SipCaddy Suction Cup Drink Holder sticks to tile, glass or a mirror and holds a beer can, a bottle or even a wine glass, so the shower beer finally has somewhere to sit. The suction cup is rated to seven pounds, and the plastic holder is dishwasher-safe. It’s an easy laugh for any adult in the group.

It’s a pickle, and it yodels. The Archie McPhee Yodeling Pickle has no other purpose, and the batteries are included. It’s the kind of gift a whole room wants to hear at least once.

The Bob Ross Chia Pet grows the painter’s famous perm back in green chia sprouts within one to two weeks. The kit has the terracotta bust, a drip tray and seed for three plantings, and the planter can be washed and replanted. Anyone who remembers the ch-ch-ch-chia jingle or watched The Joy of Painting gets the joke right away.

Gary Dahl’s 1975 gag is back in the Pet Rock: The Original by Gary Dahl, a rock about 2 inches long that comes in its own little travel crate. It’s pre-trained to sit and stay, and it will never need a walk. The humor is bone dry, so it lands best with a crowd that enjoys a deadpan joke.

The Foxelli Bluetooth Beanie hides speakers and a mic inside a knit hat, with up to 15 hours of playtime and USB-C charging. Side controls handle volume, tracks and calls, and the speakers pull out so the hat can go in the wash. It suits runners, dog walkers and winter commuters.

Small enough for a dorm room, the Dash Mini Waffle Maker makes one 4-inch waffle at a time on a nonstick plate, with a light that tells you when it’s ready. It also handles hash browns and cornbread. Give it to a college student or anyone setting up a first apartment.