Dalek Exterminate Towel

$34.85 on Amazon
If you don’t know who Dr. Who is, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Just please, for the sake of environmental hazards, move out from under that rock. Dr. Who debuted in November of 1963, shortly before most of us found out toilets had another use besides feeding the dog. Its popularity has had resurgence and brought back the lovable Dalek’s, “Exterminate all fools!”

The beach towel is bright orange. Don’t worry; it won’t clash with your pink bathing suit. Pink and orange are opposites---no, they’re not. Anyway, pink and orange are quite a good look on the beach. Ask Barbie, she will confirm it.

Your cell phone rings and wakes you up while you’re tanning on the beach. That conversation will establish you as a star when you tell the friend, “Ouch. I fell asleep on a robot on the beach. It burned me.” Follow the washing instructions, as anything with red, orange, or pink, can lose a little color in the machine. A word of warning to the domestic engineers, pink is not a good color for man-pants.

The towel is 100% cotton and measures 60 inches by 30 inches. The calculator says that is 5 feet by 2.5 feet. It weighs 15.2 ounces, so toss that sucker to the side before you step on the scales. Every female from 5 to 65 knows that a pound on the shoulder adds 10 to the backside, and you don’t want that grief. However, at almost a pound in weight, it will wash and wear for a good long time. It does come with a warranty, but if that information was revealed, you would have to go into the witness protection program, or a not-too earth-friendly planet in the Alphanoidus System.