Bacon Scented Air Freshener

$4.69 on Amazon
That smell – the glorious, amazing smell of bacon – can turn any man into a hungry beast. If you are having trouble getting your man to eat, you need a bacon scented air freshener. Whether you are trying to make the people in your house want to eat BLT’s for lunch, or preparing a special breakfast for your hungry clan, this air freshener is a requirement for any loving home. If the local pizza place forgets to wrap your pizza crust with bacon, you can pretend it is there if you eat your pizza with these hanging around your dining room table or TV tray. You know you’re probably watching professional wrestling or Antiques Roadshow while eating this pizza.

To ward off vegan passengers and freeloaders, hang one up in your car-truck. Imagine the scene: you are getting off work at Denny’s and getting ready to jump in your vehicle to head home. The new hipster waiter, who is in 5 different local bands, looks over at you with his mascara-heavy eyes, and you can tell he is about to ask for a ride to his mom’s house where he resides in the basement. He takes a bite of his tofu-jerky, chews for a second, and then begins the question. You see him notice the bacon air freshener and he gags a little on his tofu. He never finishes the request. Mission Accomplished!

With today’s fashionable bacon-themed clothing options, these will make an exciting accessory to any outfit made of meat. The smell compliments raw meat bras, bacon neckties, and bacon slippers. Hang them around your neck, or cover up that nasty cologne your wife makes you wear with a couple of these under your dress shirt. People will wonder why they are so hungry when they are around you. But, you know why. Because bacon.